Thirty Three Minutes One-Shots
by Now Taking Numbers
Summary: All of the moments left out of 'Thirty Three Minutes'. Birthdays, funny stories, and more!
1. January Birthdays

**The birthdays mentioned in chapter 15. For your reading pleasure.**

January is a scary time of the year for us.

It's the month that Cynthia was born. And it also happens to be shared by Alice.

Which means it's a month of listening to everything they say in fear of retribution.

If that weren't enough for our poor community, Dale also shares the month. Which means that we've got 3 birthdays to plan.

Yeah.

Cynthia's comes up first, January 7th. Alice suggest a masquerade party, as they're always her Mom's favorite kind to attend.

With a theme in mind, we begin the actual grunt work, William is in charge of keeping Cynthia busy all day.

It literally requires the full day to get everything ready, the moment the sun rises Alice wakes them up, gives them time to dress and ushers them off with tickets and bookings to movies, lunch, and spa treatments.

We take over the house then, Rose and Emmett are doing what they do best, transforming the backyard.

Alice is adding the finishing touches to everyone's masks, which she's designed specifically to coordinate with what everyone intends to wear to the party. She very scarily, marched into my room and demanded what I'd be wearing about a week ago. I'm sure she did the same to everyone else.

Jasper has been drafted by Rose to create the look she had in mind. He's really just more muscle as they struggle to haul tables and chairs from Esme's as she usually has the extra event furniture.

I've managed to save Edward from the draft because I need him to keep an eye on the dinner while I finish the cake.

I'd already started it yesterday because I knew this one would take more out of me.

It's fondant work, which is a lot of fun. I've decided to create a layered cake this time, flexing my muscles and pushing the lengths of my abilities, especially because the idea I have Alice requires some of the things I'll be practicing today.

With my headphones in and my favorites playing in my ears I set to covering the cake.

It's a topsy turvy three tiered cake. The first, and biggest tier is a rich purple, with black stripes I've steamed lightly to make bright and shiny, kind of like satin. I line each black stripe with rows of edible crystals.

The second is the same purple, this time with black diamonds. On this layer I pin a couple of handmade masquerade masks made from fondant. They're black with glitter and swirls and more edible crystals.

The top tier is purple again, with plumes of feathers and signs jutting out of it. They read things like 'Cynthia' and '44'

When I finally finish I pull out my headphones, Edward is just pulling out the dinner which is a roasted duck with steamed carrots, garlic crusted string beans, and an alfredo dish. All of her favorites.

I glance outside and find that Jasper, dressed in his suit and mask, is directing the parents around the back of the house, a quick peek out back shows that they're taking their seats and admiring the decor. I do to.

The tables are dressed in rich purple tablecloths for her favorite color, dark colored flowers with plumes of feathers act as beautiful centerpieces. Rose has set draped heavy fabric courtesy of Alice from nearby trees to make the whole scene slightly mysterious.

I run upstairs and wash up and change quickly. For the event I've decided to wear the dress Alice gave me for Christmas. The light peach material is soft on my skin and I'm in love with how drapey it is. The sleeves hang off my shoulders in beautiful lace.

My hair gets twisted into a side ponytail, and I finish it with my mask. It's light peach, with a lace overlay on the right side, and a row or pearl beads along the left.

It's very me.

At the bottom of the stairs Edward greets me already dressed, he's wearing a dark suit with a golden tie. His mask matches the gold, with a bit of dyed lace to match mine.

"You look enchanting Bella." My cheeks light with pleasure and I pause on the bottom step so I can kiss him.

"You look very handsome Edward." I tell him.

Then we go into the kitchen and begin dishing everything up. We make our rounds handing out the food while Alice flits around filling cups with champagne. As I deliver Cynthia's dish she claps her hands together.

"Oh Bella look at this! All of my favorites oh this smell heavenly! Thank you, this is all absolutely perfect!" She's wearing purple, a beautiful dress that hangs wonderfully from her shoulders. I have no doubt it's an Alice original. Her mask is matching, with dark lace, glitter, and feathers.

She looks absolutely beautiful.

"Anything for you Cyn." I tell her giving her a quick hug.

With the food handed out we kids take our seats and dig in. Once we finish eating the dancing starts. Edward has chosen a wide array of music because Cynthia is very erratic like that. Sometimes there's something classical, and then it will be followed by a Pat Benatar rager that makes us all headbang and jump around.

* * *

Dale's birthday falls next on the nineteenth. Emmett is the one to come up with the idea and it's absolutely perfect! A roast. How very appropriate for him.

The setup doesn't take much, it's more preparation for the roasting, Emmett offers his services with delight to help everyone write theirs.

Rose, Alice, Edward, and Jasper setup tables in the dining room which has been cleared for the occasion.

Emmett spends most of the day helping the parents writing, and I busy myself in the kitchen.

Dale is a simple man.

I end up making a ton meat, most wrapped in bacon.

His cake goes with the theme. It's red velvet, and I make some fondant bacon strips and write out the number 52.

"Is that bacon on the cake?" Jasper asks as he passes by me placing it in the fridge.

"No it's not real bacon, it's fondant." Jasper shakes his head in wonder.

"It looks real, damn Bella you're good at that."

Everyone opts to dress nice and the roast begins. Dale is sitting off to the side of the podium when Emmett takes the stand.

"Dale my man it's a miracle you've made it to 52, what with all the bacon you eat." Emmett's one to talk about bacon obsession.

"Seriously though, if it's not the food it's the wife and daughter who roam around looking like babes. I'd have a heart attack if that were my woman." Then Emmett waggles his eyebrows and we all laugh because Rose is his 'woman'.

Dad takes the stage next mustache twitching.

"I never understood the concept of a roast, Emmett said it's a good time to get out all of the things you've always wanted to use to make fun of a friend. Where to start." Dad says smiling hugely.

"Let's start with the world most tactless politician. The man stumbles through everything with absolutely no grace. Dinner, movies, I once caught him scratching his balls at a press event." Oh ew! Everyone roars with laughter because it's well known that Dale is a bit of a wild spirit.

"It's a question how he landed Lillian."

Then Charlie steps down and I go up.

A blush lights my cheeks, roasts really aren't my thing.

"Dale astounds me everyday." I begin. "With how a fully grown man can get away with acting like a child." Laughter erupts from everyone.

"He throws priceless vases around for fun, makes your Momma jokes, and is regularly told to behave… by his children!"

Esme steps up next looking uncomfortable.

"I'm just going to read what Emmett wrote." She says holding up a card.

"Dale, you old- Emmett Swan I will not say 'bastard'." We all laugh in response, Esme continues on. "Dale, you old _fool_ your feet are so- oh lord Emmett you spelled pungent wrong!" Esme throws her card down and walks away from the podium.

"I can't do this." She cries. Making us laugh harder, tears are in my eyes and my stomach aches from laughing so hard.

Carlisle goes up next mirth dancing in his eyes.

"But my wife was trying to say, but is too polite to do, is that Dale your feet smell so sourly they pickle cucumbers. I feel very bad for Lil who has to sleep with those!"

William steps up still laughing.

"Dale my old friend, you're 52 and child locks still give you trouble. Seriously, this guy has to have his children open his pill bottles because they beat him every time! And you you guys remember when the twins were little? He couldn't open the damn toilet, the amount of times I heard Lil screaming at him for pissing in the sink!"

Cynthia is absolutely ruthless.

"This big oaf has managed to break: Two hummers, a four wheeler, a jetski, and a lazy boy. If it's not the weight that does it, it's his inability to follow instructions."

Alice steps up tittering lightly.

"When Dad would tell me right from wrong he'd always have a story, and the example for wrong was always Dale. For instance: Don't assume a woman is pregnant, wait for her to tell you. Dale has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth and offending women by asking when's the baby due."

Ed Sr. goes next.

"Dale has is an old friend. The oldest of us all. Sometimes it's hard to remember that because he still can't read. The other day he ordered til-uh-pia instead of tilapia." I'm bent over breathing deeply through an aching stomach from laughing so hard.

Liz goes up next her paper tightly grasped in her hands.

"Emmett wrote mine as well," She warns, then she clears her throat. "Dale once snored so loud Rose thought someone was knocking on the door and went to check it only to discover it was him in the backyard napping." She steps down with pink cheeks and ears… aw that's where Edward gets it from. Speaking of Edward, he steps up and clears his throat.

"This guy," he says pointing to Dale. "Once made himself some breakfast, and I was shocked to see him weak some bacon together and fry it on a waffle iron, when I asked him what he was doing he said: 'I like waffles and bacon for breakfast'."

After that Lillian, Jasper, and Rose step up. Each sharing their fondest, most embarrassing moment of him.

Lillian recalls the time he fled across campus wearing only a sock, because he'd been caught in the girl's dorms and didn't have time to gather his clothes.

Jasper shares when Dale gave Jasper the sex talk. A box of condoms and a warning not to enter girls dorms.

Rose shares when he her the sex talk. "Tell Emmett to wrap it, or I'll wrap him in a sheet of plastic and bury him in the backyard."

Then Dale steps up, and he unleashes.

"Emmett, your sister uses bacon to wake you up in the morning. I once watched her blast and air horn and that didn't work, but one sizzle of bacon and you're up! Bella, you adorable little thing, you're still growing everyday, including learning how to walk! You've also got to be the only virgin still living, except that boyfriend of yours, good thing Ed's going to be a doctor, he'll fix you up and then _fix you up._ Charlie you old fart, must be nice getting paid to do nothing because Police Chief of Forks is the same as sitting on your ass eating donuts." I flush brightly and so does Edward, Dad, well Dad stands up in the middle of his roast and pulls his gun off his belt.

"Say something about my daughter's purity again and I'll shoot you."

It got worse!

Kill me now, I put my head on the table to hide my vermillion face.

I don't even listen to the rest I'm too embarrassed.

Roasts suck.

* * *

Cynthia approached us with the idea for Alice's party right after her own. She wants to give Alice a little fashion show, and then finish it with a pumping bass kind of club dance.

We don't really have to do anything except hand out invites at school, oh, and model Alice's clothes!

Cynthia asked us to be the models, which really wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't for her gift to Alice. She's paying to have Josey's store put up ads around the area, with _our_ pictures in Alice's clothes.

The backyard gets transformed, with a walkway, and rows of seats below them. Cynthia doesn't spare a dime to make it all professional and amazing, hiring some big deal photographers for the whole thing.

Josey helps us out, she's in the back coordinating outfits, she's brought a tone of Alice's designs from her store, and we bring some of our favorites she's done for us. Like my peach dress.

Rose and I are in the back as Cynthia introduces the event. The Mom's have joined too, to show some of the things she's made them.

"Alice my darling, I'm so very proud of you. I'm always being told that I must spoil you rotten for you to have so many nice clothes, and while it's true, I do spoil you, I always tell them that you make most of your own clothing. In fact you design them for the family on numerous occasions! You're so talented in fact you're selling them to a store in Port Angeles, everyone," Cynthia says to the crowd of students from school. "Alice here sells much of her clothes from a cute store called _Classy_. Now the store is tiny, and unfortunately overlook as a truly amazing vintage find. So Josey is allowing me to have ads made from today's event to show Alice's talented clothing."

Alice's answering shriek is so loud I'm sure people in town can hear it.

"Ladies and Gentleman, Classy by Alice." Rose struts out in the dress she got for Christmas. Soft violet and fitted, with a sassy little skirt. As she exits I make my way out feeling awkward. The dress is the peach one, my absolute favorite. I stride down the runway with as much confidence as I can muster and then when I get to the end I smile. Edward is holding up a sign that says: My girlfriend is a model!

A true laugh emits as I twirl at the end with my head thrown back, showing off for him.

From there it's so much easier to stroll out, knowing that he's out there proud of me.

My favorite moment is when Rose and I go out together. She's got little high waisted shorts, with a pretty pale pink blouse tucked into them. I'm rocking a patterned romper that ends high on my thighs. We walk out with our arms together, laughing, and the end we both just out a hip sassily. Confidence boosted by each other and the beautiful clothes.

At the end everyone comes back out wearing their favorite outfit, I skip out in my peach dress, and blow a kiss to Edward who's watching with a big goofy smile on his face. Everyone claps and more blinding flashes of the photographers end the event. Then it's time for the party.

Rose and I change our outfits and join the popping club scene. Lights flash and strobe the yard, and giant speakers pound loudly. Alice latches onto both of us tightly.

"Oh my god you guys looked amazing! Thank you thank you thank you!" She screams delightedly.

At the end of the night the photographers show Cynthia the pictures they're going to use.

There's a gorgeous one of Esme, in green satin, a warm smile on her face.

The picture of Rose and I posing sassily makes the cut.

As does one with Rose in her Christmas dress, standing with her hip cocked and all the confidence in the world. The last photo is of me, in the peach dress spinning and laughing, showing off for Edward. I can see why, my smile is carefree, alive.

 **Please let me know if there are any moments you are wanting to have realized, there's more to come! Later lovelies.**


	2. Valentine's Day

**Valentine's Day!**

Lillian really outdid herself this year. Mostly because this is the first year we're all coupled up, well except Dad, but I'm sure he'll do what he does every year. Crash Emmett and I.

The dining room is transformed from Dale's roast to a gorgeous Valentine's celebration, each little table dressed in rich red, with their own candles, and small flower arrangements. It's all very cozy, and with the dining lights dimmed low. It takes my breath away.

I'm wearing one of my favorite dresses, a white chiffon with thick straps, and draping flowing fabric from the waist, where a band brings the material in at my waist. I feel ethereal in it, and Edward calls me a striking angel when he picks me up at the house.

Edward pulls the chair out for me, then takes his own seat.

"Wow Bella you look stunning words cannot-" Dad takes that moment to plop down in the extra chair Lillian has provided for his crashing.

"You kids look great. Real nice suit Edward." Dad's mustache twitches with his amusement.

"What was that Eddie? My Bella sure is a stunner isn't she? Gets it from her Momma." Edward stumbles over his words.

"She's gorgeous sir, illuminating." Dad claps him on the back which makes Edward flinch slightly. I roll my eyes at Dad's antics.

"Dad come on! You love Edward and you've known him since he was a bump in Liz's belly. Quit it."

Dad grumbles and digs into the lamb Lillian has provided, courtesy of Emily her cook.

Halfway through his meal Dad spies Emmett, whose petting at Rose's hand, leaning close with an intense look in his eye.

"If you'll excuse me." Dad lifts his plate and glass and crashes in on their moment.

"If you want him to stay away don't look intimate." I hiss at Edward, he nods in all seriousness.

We converse about what's going on at school, and the upcoming camping trip and then it happens, Edward leans close with pink ears and asks if I'm still going to meet him at the treehouse tonight.

Before I can stutter out an answer Dad joins us, sans plate, but refilled glass of wine.

"Hey there kids, what are we talking about." Edward's ears get pinker and I fumble for an answer.

"The camping trip, we were just talking about the Trials." Dad mhmms unconvinced and grins.

"I'm sure you guys were." We both flush. "Man you two are so bashful, it's hilarious. Dale get a load of these two!" Dad is determined to break every couple out of their moments because Dale and Lillian were just kissing. Dale breaks away to look at us and lets out a booming laugh. At Dads exclamation, everyone else turned to look at us and now we're on display in our embarassed glory.

"Dad, Emmett just fed Rose off his fork." I say pointing over. Dad takes that as his moment and goes back to them.

"Jesus Christ my Dad needs to start dating." I murmur, Edward nods gravely.

After dinner we go outside and enjoy a sitting around the firepit, looking at stars and basking in the glow. When we break up for the night we kids go to the treehouse, Alice and Jasper sneak back to the Brandon poolhouse, and Emmett and Rose creep to Rose's shop. Edward and I end up blissfully alone.

Edward's prepared the treehouse ahead of time. He's laid down a sleeping bag and some pillows for comfort, and brought a couple of candles for light.

We both lay together and kiss, transitioning to our rapidly favoring activity. Making out.

Edward's hands are now sure around my waist, blazing a trail up my ribs to my breasts. He gives them a squeeze, fondling them with pinches and grabs. I grasp at the lapels of his jacket, crying out as he places hot open mouthed kisses on my neck. One hand comes to a strap and pulls it off my shoulders as he nuzzles and kiss from my neck to shoulder. The other strap is pulled down and then the dress is tugged below my bra. Edward relishes between my breasts, nuzzling and biting at them.

"These are the best." He breathes out. I take the moment to pull at his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders and then tearing open his shirt. He shrugs off both and my fingers come to play along his chest, running lightly from neck to navel, he shivers above me, eyes dark.

"Jesus Bella. The things you do to me." Tonight's the night. I'm going to give him a blowjob.

I rise to my knees and push Edward back, he does so staring up at me hungrily. I push my dress completely off, leaving me in light pink underwear and bra, with a rush of excitement I take off the bra.

Edwards garbled swear whenever he sees my breasts is always a rush of pride. I lean over him, placing kisses at his neck and shoulders, he's groaning beneath me, my kisses begin to slip south, making a beeline for his pants. When I get to the buckle Edward gasps aloud, with my eyes on his I undo the buckle, and then I pull his pants and underwear down.

It never ceases to amaze me how impressive he is. I don't know much by way of size or number comparison but it's thick, pulsing with need. The tip is always a lovely shade of rose, and very soft.

My mouth slowly lowers to the tip, blowing softly onto the tip. Edward arches and moans loudly.

"Bella!" He cries out. My tongue pokes out and swirls tentatively around the tip. That makes Edward's eyes roll into the back of his head, and his his hips buck.

My hand squeezes the base as I pull more of him into my mouth. He's thick, making my mouth gape, my tongue draws patterns around the base as I take him further into my mouth.

He's groaning, whimpering, swearing with pleasure, and I'm the one doing that to him.

"Oh god! Oh god! Bella."

I set a steady rhythm, and Edward's hand comes to my hair, fisting it as he cries out.

"Shit, Jesus Bella, yeah that's it, fuck."

I give the base a good squeeze and then flick my tongue, Edward cries out loudly, hips bucking and then stilling.

My mouth is full of him, and the salty thick concoction oozing out of him has no choice but to be swallowed. When it seems like he's done I pull away and wipe at my mouth.

Edward is gaping up at me.

"Oh my fucking god that was amazing Bella." He croaks. I blush under his praise.

 **Anything else you want to read?**

 **Let me know.**

 **Now Taking Numbers**


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